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I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door.
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people
Whenever I watch the TV show Friends, I imagine I`m the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him.
Been coughing all night & day, can`t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
If you`re feeling powerless just remember a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
I`ll tell you what`s wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore.
Okay restaurants. Enough with the clever bathroom signs. A simple M and F will do. Sincerely, drunk people.
Never underestimate a woman`s ability to make you feel responsible and guilty for her mistakes.
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....