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At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
One of the most important things in life is perserverance. Hang on...perseveren...no, perserveer...pesever… oh, never mind.....
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
One time I snuck a whole rotisserie chicken into a movie, cause candy is for amateurs.
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
I have an oven with a "stop time" button. It´s probably meant to be "stop timer" but I don´t touch it, just in case.
Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you`ve made in their life. It`s not me. I think your an idiot.
I don`t throw anything out anymore I just go to TGI Friday`s once a month and glue more sh!t to the wall, no one notices, try it
ALERT: Missing Unicorn...if you find it, you`re probably high
Is it sexual harasment to say ho ho ho to a female coworker?
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative