Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How does one get a nice body without moving?
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
Paint thinner? I call bullsh!t. I been painting myself with it all week and I`m still fat.
Most of you like waking up in the morning to see the "comments" and "likes" that your status received. I like waking up in the morning to see WTF I posted!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
When a cashier asks if you have a loyalty card just sigh and say, "My wife took everything when she left"
A coworker just wrote "Retard" on the windshield of my car. It`s taken me over an hour to lick it off!
My roommate is going on a date tonight.. He said he`s convinced she IS coming home with him.. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters.. Now we wait..
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
My wife just bought a $50 bottle of shampoo. So guys, party at my house this weekend because apparently we won the Lottery!!!
Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job
If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
You know you are meant to be when you high five after sex.
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.