Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How easily you’re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
Every time i see a person kneeling over tying their shoe, i run up behind them and hop over them to try and get a game of leapfrog going.
When a bird bangs into your window, do you wonder if God is playing angry birds
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
I`ve been taking viagara for my sunburn........ It doesn`t cure it...... but it does keep the sheets off my legs at night.
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
If you can afford a gym membership, you can afford deodorant.
Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” .... I said, “I am.”
You can usually judge a women`s hotness by how many times your girlfriend calls her a whore.
With my eyes. That`s how I roll.
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.