Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
Guy on plane : So, where are you going to? Me : I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
Crap, my Internet has been down for 4 days ...Probably because my neighbors moved 4 days ago.
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome
Sorry, I can`t hangout. My uncle`s cousin`s sister in law`s best friend`s insurance agent`s roommate`s pet goldfish drowned. It was tragic.
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
Hey people who say I am boring and not interesting; FYI the police just called saying they want to talk to me because I am "a person of interest"
These people keep looking at me like I`m the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
My wife treats me like a God…She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work
I wish I was Robinson Cruso. Coz, I can have `Friday` everyday :) TGIF guys..cheers ;)