Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not as funny when you live by yourself.
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
That feeling you get when you meet someone named dick....
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.
B!tches be trippin ... OK, maybe I pushed one.
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
I hate to call it "one night stands"... I prefer the term "auditions"
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.