Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
I`ll be right with you, I`m busy being inappropriate on the internet.
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
You question whether you are getting old when your barber asks if your eyebrows need trimming, and you know it when he does it without asking
Why would you be scared to get Ebola? You haven`t left your couch since 2011.
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
im so hungry, im farting fresh air
With great power comes a great electricity bill.
Here`s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management
If you see a guy with no arms and your first thought is “My God how does he drink his beer??”, You might be an alcoholic.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a beautiful day.
I usually spend my Mondays texting apologies but I`ve had an alcohol free weekend now I have nothing to do.