Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
Dear Santa, I was framed!
People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
Do you remember that creepy guy who stood behind you on a train 6 years ago and was smelling your hair? Hi!
I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest…just not more than I don’t want to.
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
My friend said "hey that girl has a nice butt" I said "yes i bet she can sit down excellently "
Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” .... I said, “I am.”
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
I dream about naps.
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.