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i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
Standing up: Wow, I`m actually kind of skinny. Sitting down: Okay, maybe not..
I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know...Oreos.
I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
loves poetry, long walks and poking dead things with a stick.
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
Setting the alarm clock proves I`m capable of making the same mistake every day.
The plans I make after work are in direct proportion to how much charge I have left in my phone battery.