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Why is it that whenever there`s two women in a profile pic, the hot one is always someone else..?
New day, same old bullsh!t
Everyone has fitness goals and I’m over here like, if I burn this many calories I can eat a whole pizza.
Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
I"m not saying that I am batman, i`m just saying no one has ever seen me and batman in a room together
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
I wouldn’t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
"I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis