Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figure he`ll just have to mow around me. I`m not moving.
Just changed my dating profile headline to: “Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives” …crossing my fingers.
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour
It only takes one slow walking person in the grocery store to destoroy the illusion that I am a nice person.
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
Want your favorite song to become your least favorite song? Just make it your alarm tune.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?