Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
I`m more confused than a homeless person on house arrest.
I don’t trust joggers, it’s a little too convenient that they are always the ones to discover dead bodies.
I’m sorry I slapped you. It’s just you seemed like you weren’t going to stop talking and I panicked.
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
Mustaches: 1. Like them or not? 2. Should you refuse to go out on a date with someone just because she has one?
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed
I`m pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison...
Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.