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It appears that autocorrect has become my worst enema.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" then we both laughed and laughed... And now I need bail money.
List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there`s something cool to see.
I don`t blame Monday. I blame Saturday for not matching my Powerball numbers
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
I am hungry 25 hours a day
Man:Hello doc, my wife is having a baby. Doctor:Is this the first child? Man:No, it`s the husband speaking.
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.
You never truly appreciate Newton’s laws of motion until you’ve sneezed while going to the bathroom.
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them