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Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
I`d better check my phone for texts from friends. *checks phone* Well, I`d better get some friends...
If you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
I`m feeling about as useful as a stoplight in Grand Theft Auto.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
I fart because it`s the only gas I can afford.
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
Right before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.
That feeling you get when you meet someone named dick....
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
There`s no WE in pizza.