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People like you are the reason why the middle finger was invented
I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now.
The only way a fidgey spinner would relieve my stress is if it was edible ...
I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
...you ever ponder why that page was intentionally left blank?
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so fvck it!
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
I ate gummy bears and didn`t bite off their heads or make screaming noises as they entered my mouth and I think this means I`m an adult now.
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
When someone says "Surprise me", I quickly drop my pants.
Autocorrect changed "you`re so wise" to "you`re so wide", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home.
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "
I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.