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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
I spend most of my money on beer and cigarettes.. The rest I just waste.
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
I drive everywhere but for some reason my shoes still wear out, it’s like there’s just no reward for laziness.
if I was a bird, I know who I´d poop on first.
When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer.
It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
She heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100 problems.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
On the 14th of December I`m going to call people and say "7 Days" then hang up...
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
Remember, life isn`t about accumulating stuff. It`s about making people insanely jealous of your stuff.