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You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
Now it`s too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
If you want to preview of the new iPhone 8 and try it out for free before buying it just look at your iPhone 7 and pretend it cost several hundred dollars more.
It took Harry Potter 7 damn long books to catch the bad guy. When it only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes.
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you`re hot.
I feel pretty confident that if anyone ever steals my identity, they will inevitably improve my credit score…
If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job, I could be employed for infinity.
All my life I’ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
When my dog sniffs another dog’s poop I can only assume that it’s their equivalent to checking a friend’s facebook page.