Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Iām not drunk, Iām just exhausted from drinking all night.
Oh my gosh! It`s a Hot Wheels car! Something you never want to hear during a prostate exam.
I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
Everything happens for a reason. That`s why I drink to everything!
I`d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he`s gonna get to wear it.
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
Yoga is a great way to meet and embarrass yourself in front of women
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To have a little fun. Jill, the dill, Forgot her pill, And now they have a son.
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.
Things that don`t kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?
According to my nipples, there;s a ninety-nine percent chance it`s cold as f*ck outside.