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Attempting to guilt me in to doing something, is the surest way to make sure it never happens.
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
I love how stars are billions of miles apart and we`re like "that`s a soup ladle".
Why is that in girls tampon commercials they dance and laugh? Shouldn`t they be revving chainsaws and burning sh!t down?
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
I left a note in the break room at work saying I had found five bucks. I hadn`t found any money, but it was worth five dollars to learn which of my co-workers is a lying douchebag.
Guess what I saw today? ... Everything I looked at.
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk? My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill.
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
The next person that tells me I have no shame…probably knows me pretty darn well.
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?