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Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won`t cut a bagel in half ... Not even on top speed
To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.
Three things Iām thankful for this time of year: Family, Friends, and Caller ID to avoid family and friends
Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
I wonder how many dads named their sons Luke just so they can say "Luke, I am your father."....
When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`
I`m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
If a woman is talking to me about her problems, I better be the cause of them.
I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don`t have to share.
You don`t need training to be a street cleaner, you just pick it up as you go along.
It`s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
Lawns: You cut them, then water them so they grow just so you can cut them again. This does not make sense.