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Ever had sex while camping!? It`s intents!
I`m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
A wise man, will often say nothing
Our #1 problem in this country is that nobody wants to take responsibility for anything ...but please don`t quote me!
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I`m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Of all the lies I`ve told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
If I can’t act weird around you, I’m sorry we can’t be friends.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people know where my tolerance level is at.