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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
So a year ago today I asked a really beautiful friend out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
That awkward moment when you get in the van... And there`s no candy.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
They might as well put "Uhhh..." in front of every item on drive-thru menus.
I`m not homophobic, I love my house!
It turns out if you cry at the DMV they`ll let you take a second photo
I`m too lazy to ever write a biography. Story of my life.
Dear Life, Please, use a Lubricant.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
I hate when I accidentally eat everything in sight.
Starting tomorrow: Whatever Life throws at me… I’m gonna duck so it hits someone else.
Sometimes I buy huge pants and take a picture of myself holding them up just to feel like I lost a ton of weight.
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness