Daily Silly Status

K-Y should be called K-WHEN, because we already know why.

I`m as nutty as a squirell fart

I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.

I`m too lazy to be a stalker. You`ll have to come here. Bring coffee.

Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?

My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral.

I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.

Last night I had this awesome dream, where I fought this huge fat ninja and knocked him out with my super power punch. I`d tell you more but I have to take my wife to the doctor. She has this mysterious black eye.

My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.

I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones

Sometimes when it rains I go outside with a cocktail umbrella and pretend I`m a Giant.

If she owns more than 4 pairs of yoga pants, expect A LOT of text messages

If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.

I`m good at counting cards. I keep ending up with 52.

I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.