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When they discover the center of the universe, alot of people will be shocked they`re not in it.
People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
"Teeter Totter" is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
The girl in the car next to me is totally checking me out. I think she likes me. After I`m done picking my nose, I`m gonna smile and wave.
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
She said she was stripping to feed her kids but then got pissed when I started throwing canned goods at her
They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.
I will be good today... I will be good today... I will be good today... Yeah.... I didn`t believe it either..
i forgot how to put a status ... can anyone help me ?
If my body is EVER found dead on a designated jogging trail.. Just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.. :|
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.