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After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
Went to my friends house with my girlfriend today. As we walked in I noticed her phone automatically connected to his wifi. That f*cking slut.
I get a real kick out of people who drive a mile in their car to run a mile on a treadmill.
Funerals are so depressing, when I die I want to be fed to a shark or something cool.
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
I live in constant fear that someone will kidnap my mother in law who lives all alone at 48 W Main St, bldg C, Apt 32 on the 3rd floor.
"Hey homie!" - How I greet my house whenever I arrive.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.
Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it`s none of my damn business.
Dear Cashier, you should stop giving me attitude and acting like you`re job is so complicated and stressful....Self-Checkout has proven that pretty much Anyone can do your job.
Smelling another person should be a choice.