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How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
You know it`s way past your bed time when the 1-800-dial-a-hoe commercials come on.
If a bra is called an `Over the shoulder bolder holder,` then would you call men`s underwear `Under the butt nut hut?`
You know you`re old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.
Euphoria....the feeling you get when you finally beat "that" level on Candy Crush.
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
I will never admit to my parents that I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa as long as I still get presents and candy.
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it`s cuz you have really nice tits.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
I hate when reality happens outside of my head.
The opposite of "tying the knot" is "no strings attached"
Know what? If they had Neosporin back in 1931, that nasty scar on Frankenstein`s forehead would have been far less noticeable.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.