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Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
Some people are like water balloons; they`re more fun when you throw them out the window.
Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I`m hiring her as my personal trainer.
If you can´t say anything nice ... we´re probably related.
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
They don`t even serve apples at Applebee`s. Or bees.
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
Note to self: the wife does not want an `exercise pole`.