Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
“A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
I’m tired of things costing money.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re probably really hot.
Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
Threw my back out today reaching for the shampoo in the shower. But I`ll be telling everyone it`s from having sex while skydiving.
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
The Kids today just don`t appreciate the colors and flavors of Dial soap like I do
Breasts are like model trains. They were originally meant for children but grown men always want to play with them.
You can either wear granny panties OR yoga pants - not both. Pick one.
"Is everything OK?" "Well, I`ve been kind of down since the divorce..." "I meant with your pasta, sir."
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.