Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some relationships are like fat people, they don`t Workout!!
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.
From now on when someone asks you where you`re from look them dead in the eye and say: Planet Venus.
Deja poo. The feeling that you`ve heard this sh!t before.
A true man is one who leaves his wife alone in cold weather and goes to watch football.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
“Hey baby, do you smell that?” “No.” “Me neither, start cooking.”
I wonder how many people read my statuses and say `I hope he`s getting professional help`?
Trying to untwist a twizzler is a real b*tch and this gas station cashier yelling at me isn`t helping.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.