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The sun shouldn`t be allowed to come out until after your hangover.
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes...Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
I don`t really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.
When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
Really disappointed to find out after laser eye surgery I am unable to burn down buildings
They say laughter is the best medicine... found out that`s not true for treating diarrhea.
If it`s any consolation, your Doppelganger is probably having a really awesome day.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
I wondered how smokers could afford them, until I realized they don`t have to save for retirement..