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I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
If you`ve never played Tetris, you`re probably useless at loading a dishwasher
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
"Size DOES matter", I whisper to my double stuffed Oreos.
I don’t know what it is but, it’s on sale.
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
No means no! Unless she`s dyslexic; then it`s on!
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
Hash browns not tags.
You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that sh!t.
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them