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They call cat people crazy but they`re not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
Considering I`m broke, I wonder if she`ll let me be her sugar-free daddy.
I`m not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I`m pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.
Just once I’d like to learn something the easy way.
Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That`s about as organic you`re gonna get out of me.
Do handjobs from girls who speak sign language count as blowjobs
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
Chinese scientists have discovered the rare rock n roll panda it will only eat A wop bop a loo lop a wop Bamboo
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
I never thought you could really guess too low whenever a woman asks you her age. I guess 6 was pushing it.
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
Like many people, I used to want to be famous, but after this year, I`m quite happy to be have been such a failure.