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Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
My hand is stuck in a Pringles can. I`ll just leave it there. I`m not hiding who I am anymore.
My neck, my back. My pizza and my snacks.
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
Car next to me in the liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has seven kids! ... I better get in there quick! She`s gonna buy it all.
Nascar would be so more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
The key to my heart is shaped like a bottle opener.
I`m 0-9 on finding secret rooms behind bookcases.
I`m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
How`d this get posted?