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They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
My boss calls it a cubicle. I call it a happiness deprivation chamber.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Just...sitting...thinking...planning my next move to get that new roll of toilet paper about 5 feet away from me.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
Fire at will! Oh, it`s you, Bob! Fire at Bob!"
It`s not paranoia if they really are out to get you.
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they`re like, "thank you for choosing Domino`s."
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
Me: Mom...Dad. I`ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
Roger that command center, we have arrived at our destination and will commence countdown..............Sir this is McDonalds how may I help you