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I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.
Being a fat guy at McDonald`s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business
On the outside, I`m smiling...because on the inside, I`m imagining beating you senseless with Hulk Smash Hands.
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
I`m sorry we fought ... I hate it when you`re wrong.
Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
TIP: If cars are passing you on the highway in the LEFT lane, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE RIGHT LANE!
Lower your expectations and I will totally amaze you.
If I`m in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet
I like going into McDonald`s and ordering an Egg McMuffin and a McChicken, just to see which one comes first.
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. "Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!!
FACT: There’s always room for another cupcake.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.