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I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
one of the Olsen twins got married earlier today! when the fiance was asked "which one???" he replied "who cares???"
Just once, I would like to see a person on a daytime talk show say, "dad was a good parent...mom was a good parent...the problem is me, I`m just a sh!thead."
One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
Life gets a lot easier once you decide to become part of the problem.
My bank is the worst. They`re charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can`t even afford to be broke.
Kid, I can take you out the same way I brought you into this world, by making it look like an accident.
Fun game for parents: Scream in horror the first time your child loses a tooth.
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I