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Alcohol won’t solve your problems, but neither does milk or orange juice.
You can`t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that`s kind of the same thing.
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger`s property and make a non-negotiable demand.
Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.
Just got in 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick an ice cube up off the kitchen floor.
My 12 step program means parking closer to the bar.
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
I hate it when auto-correct changes my "omg" to "OMG" like, chill out, I`m not that surprised.
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
I always find the "easy-open tab" right after I finally manage to tear the package open with my teeth.
Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
I need a six month vacation Twice a year.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box