Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
If I ran the country, things would be a lot better. Wellโ€ฆfor me anyway.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
When googling something, I always use Caps Lock so that the people from Google know it`s urgent.
If you think your having a bad day ... You could be digging your own grave at gun point and find buried treasure.
Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
If I live to be 100, I`m gonna make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people. Like, I ate a pine cone, or drank olive oil every single day...
Opening the Tupperware cupboard at home should be regarded as an extreme sport.
Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
Dude, I see you are enjoying a cold Bud Light Lime-a-Rita .... I`m going to assume that`s your smart car parked outside.