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I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
Dear parents of college students on Spring Break, Congrats! Many of you are about to be grandparents!
Me: Mom…Dad. I’ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: Ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside.
Basketball would be a lot more exciting if each team was allowed one bear.
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
It`s so awkward when you get texted to come over and you have to pretend like you weren`t already inside their house.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
I`m pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison...
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!