Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
My doctor says each piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off your life... If my math is right, I should`ve died in 1781...
If you ever disappeared while hiking, Iād remain with the search party at least until it started raining.
I noticed you`re not yourself today. I really like it.
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn`t really think your choice was excellent.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
A coworker just wrote "Retard" on the windshield of my car. It`s taken me over an hour to lick it off!
I don`t like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I`m leaving!
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.