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Funniest thing ever heard on TV. "Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"
Memories of you make me look forward to alzheimers.
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy ... I love to eat capitalization.
I do my best proofreading after I hit `send`.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
My favorite part of seeing someone I know in public is pretending I didn’t.
Never buy crystal meth from a guy with a full set of teeth. He`s obviously an undercover cop.
I`d love to drown my problems... I just can`t get my spouse to go swimming!
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.