Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it’s either her or Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last joke….. in which I talk about having a wife.
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
I don`t care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference
If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would just have two dinners.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
Why am I not allowed to post anything on here?
Drunk me absolutely loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
My life is loosely based on a true story.
Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
I like to skip when I`m carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.