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Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
I was drivin home tonight and was singin away and seen a tree ahead and swerved to miss it and realized it was my air freshener hangin from my rear view mirror!!!! CLOSE CALL!!!
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re probably really hot.
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”
At the end of each day, life should ask us, `Do you want to save the changes?`
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
If you catch a homeless couple having sex is it rude to tell them to "get a room"?
Sneezing when you pee is only recommended when you`re in a public toilet.