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I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
If life Sucks, what makes you think death doesn`t Blow??
Facebook is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you`re right fellas, men are smarter than women.
Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There´s apparently more traffic going to hell!!
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?
I`m writing this status very slowly, cause I know you guys can`t read very fast.
You get wasted, swear to much, and your morals are questionable. You`re everything I`m looking for in a friend.
Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me.