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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I was pretty sure that at this point in my career I would have henchmen by now!
I thought my name was "Stop encouraging him" until I was 11.
If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
It’s pretty scary that before facebook… All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
You always remember your first Crush. Mine was Orange.
If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
"Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way for my girlfriend to start a conversation.
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.