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Don`t rush me, I`m waiting until the last minute.
Leaving the house would be so much cooler if someone would yell “Aaaaand Action!” as I walk out the door.
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
This earthquake was the first time that I`ve ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
When I think of a SELFIE, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of...
I like to walk around my house naked… Until my neighbors scream at me to go back inside
If your problem can`t be solved by me saying "damn" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn`t come to me for help.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
They say you are what you eat, though... I don`t recall eating a sexy beast today
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth.
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia, way past retarded and there you are @ my place!
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.
Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting.
If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.
I smile because your my daughter. I laugh because there`s nothing you can do about it. ;)