Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don`t know karate.
For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?
Went to my friends house with my girlfriend today. As we walked in I noticed her phone automatically connected to his wifi. That f*cking slut.
Sometimes I like to take a roll of duct tape and use it to cover up all the Mondays on my desk calendar.
Let`s share...you take the grenade and I`ll take the pin.
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
I now have more electronic screens in my life than friends.
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.