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There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
That logical moment when you`re watching Home Alone 2 wondering how child services haven`t taken him away from his parents yet.
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
I always say, "monring" instead of "good morning" because if it was a good morning, I`d still be in bed sleeping.
Liking something on Facebook instead of commenting is like nodding at someone in an elevator instead of saying hello.
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
Raising teenagers is easy, they sleep 16 hours day, eat the other 8, and the only word in their vocab is "ok"
Nothing screams "I don`t care about being on time for work" like hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning.
According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet, not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn`t be allowed to talk
There`s nothing like hearing the laughter of a baby. Unless it`s 1AM and you`re home alone.
I dont run from my problems, I chase them ... with alcohol
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.