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You can`t fix stupid but you can divorce it
I`m really good at acting like I`m sorry the elevator door is closing and you missed it.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
Don`t run with scissors -- unless you`re stealing scissors, of course. If so, run. Run like the wind scissor thief!
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
If there is enough room to spell `bootylicious` on the back of your shorts...it probably isn`t
People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push ... into traffic.
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
Saw a wasp in a spider web and I don`t know who to root for.
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”