Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The best part about being at work on Friday is that it gives me 9 hours to figure out what I`m going to drink tonight.
Just used a full size twix bar to stir my coffee.
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside....
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Other times we just snuggle.
Happy Fourth of July!! Or as the rest of the world likes to call it, Friday.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
The heart wants what the heart wants. *opens 12th beer*
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye
I`m on a whiskey diet. So far I`ve lost 3 days.
I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.