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Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but your on Facebook again.
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
The hardest part of being a gentleman is going to all of these gentlemen’s clubs.
Most people donate to the homeless. Me? I donate to the topless.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
I got a little package in the mail today. For some reason it just reminded me of my ex.
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
Just a word of advice for all you single guys having a hard time out there, Forget the clubs, forget the churches, forget the online dating sites, as the best places to meet single women are the freezer section and down the cat food isle.....
Oh, you fell in love?! I fell in my bathtub.
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom’s bedroom. I can’t believe it.. She’s a superhero!
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
A revolving door is an IQ test you can fail in public.