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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
"I just launched a new fragrance!" - a great way to announce a fart
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
I’m like a kid in a candy store. I can’t afford anything.
I like to smile at people who don`t like me because I`m an asshole
A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they`ll do nicely"
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
Sometimes I add things to my to-do list that I’ve already done just so I can immediately cross them off.
The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
I just sent out my daily text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I`m going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up.